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Thursday, July 21, 2005

i'm thinking alot today..
hmm..

listening to "i don;t wanna close my eyes"
the whole night..

this song suddenly strike me when i was in the lift with jo..
and i got a sudden urge for this song..

read the lyrics..

so romantic...

this song juz get me thinking..

it juz make me feel very blessed..
i duno y..

thinking of the gals..
my family..
n jo..
alot..

i always have high expectation..
not only of myself..
but also on others.

is this right?

i juz finish doing the model on chromosome.
and i realised they dun look as gd as i wan them to b.
but i put in HARD work on them.

it make me wonder..
how many pple..
putting so many hard work in their work..
n a single comment by me can crash their heart..

:(

and when the day gal say..
"ur words make the deepest impact on us"
i feel so touched..

she's not the 1st one who said tt to me..

but soemhow..

it makes me feel juz how imp i am to them..
and how imp they're to me..

i've neglected so many feelings due to my stubborness
crash so many heart due to my own high expectation.

i always follow my own rules.
n i expect pple to listen n follow the rules tt i set.

i feel so selfish all of a sudden.

i missed my mom even though she's juz like..
the room nxt door?

i rem the times when my bro did wrong things..
and i expect him to bear all the silly consequences on his own..
but he never blamed me on that.

n when my mom was facing financial difficulties.
i was the one who went spree shopping
out all day..
having fun.
and expecting my parents to sort out stuff..

cos in my own rules,
i believe everyone can ssolve their own problems.
on their own.

but during my own difficult time..
they're always wif me..

they won;t ask wat happen..
they'll juz b by my side n make me laugh..

i always leave them alone to handle things..
but they never leave me..

i feel so grateful to them all..

i juz feel this way suddely..

wanna tell everyone..
"Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure "

i tresured all the silly moment i spent..
with my family..
wif my great frenz..
n wif jo..

over super..
i was wif mom..
toking abt my cousin..
who was 18.. n now getting steady wif a 30 yrs old guy..
initialyl i was angry wif her..
very angry..
but they look so sweet together..
hmm..

n my mom was saying something like..

"she changed alot of bf..
but..
its not a bad news..
at least she change her bf when she realised they're not suitable"

this led me to think of jo..
r we really suitable?
if not..
y am i still clinging onto him liek a leech..
i'm fear of losing him..
but it doesn;t mean he's the 1..

lately..
i feel so drifted from him..
i duno y..

i'm very happy wif him..
very comfortable..

but..
i juz feel different..

or is it my illusion?

am i the one who hold back both of us?
knowing its time to let go??

i duno..
when i hugged him in the lift..
i juz wanna b wif him..

but some part of me juz wan to back away

things juz get complicated every now n then..

i think i'm the one who's thinking too much..

and i'm still listening to the song..

this song is not only delicated to jo..
but also to all my frenz..
my family..

but..
of cos..

jo is the only1 i wanna stay up staring at right now..
hehe...

"I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While youre far away and dreaming "

but tonight..
i'll juz slp..
cos jo is not by my side..
and..
i dun wan to spent the whoel night staring at my ah ma..
hehe~

tml is a long long day for me...

i hope gals won't mind my lousy..
stupid looking chromosome..

:(


i wanna catch all memories before they fly away...

simoney lost her way @ 1:11 AM